Faith Component- Troubled
Long story short (or at least semi-short) :
Firstly, Sean’s mom was admitted to Lawrence Memorial a couple weeks ago & then transferred to KU med, with what we have been informed as a minimal of days left to be with her. This is a sudden change for her health but not necessarily unexpected. We have all come to terms with this, even as sad as it makes us & as difficult as it has been to accept; but she is very sick & in a lot of pain. With everything that is going on with her health, there is no way to fix one thing without making something else worse. So right now we are in a waiting limbo just trying to enjoy & spend what time we have left with her. So when she is ready to go home to God, we will be ready & with her as she goes. However, prayers for ease of her pain & fears and also for the entire family would be beyond appreciated.
We also got the shocking news this last Monday (the 27th) that Sean lost his job. This was really our only source of income. Although it wasn’t a complete shock, as he has felt the past few weeks something was going on, it doesn’t change the overwhelming fear we are trying to not let over come us. We have spent the past few weeks constantly praying, discussing, and praying some more & feel that although immensely scary right now, God does have a reason & a plan, & we will do our best to Listen, learn, & follow it.
Just for the record, there is no actual reason for him losing his job, he specifically asked what he did wrong & they had no answer; for our protection he has that recorded. He did no wrong-only followed the directions of a superior that the owner didn’t like, but he was doing his job as instructed & then penalized without real cause- it has been a shock throughout the entire Conklin organization. Fortunately, there has been a lot of emotional support from the people he has worked with over the past decade. Although we had an idea that the owners were upset; we weren’t quite prepared for the suddenness, the lack of severance, or notice of loss of insurance that we now have to face. Our insurance ends today, April 30. 5 days after being let go, his last paycheck is tomorrow and somehow only covers one week and a day…. so yes we are slightly freaked out & very scared although we have, or are trying to do our best to put our trust in God and allow him to help us find the way he desires us to get through this.
To top things off when I called SSI to inform them of the change of circumstance I was informed that May 1st will be our last SSI payment for Tristan. Again, we are not positive what happened, as well as completely shocked and unprepared, other than there is some misplaced paperwork. It is not all lost, I have spoken with Tristan’s case worker & went by to pick up all the forms needed (so I can refill them out- took me over a week for the ones that somehow got lost)- We are somewhat discouraged yet thankful that we still have an opportunity to argue our case & that no definite final action will be taken as long as I can get these new forms in on time.. There is no guarantee that they will reverse the decision, but there is a chance.
I won’t lie, we are scared & overwhelmed. We have no clue how we are going to be able to put food on our table, pay our bills, get our medications, or anything else over the next few months but we are confident God will get us through this.
all this even more difficult is that we had to pull Tristan out of Grain Valley Early Childhood (where he got 6 hours of therapy and 4-5hrs of special education weekly). Sadly this is because Grain Valley refuses to transport him from the daycare that the state has deemed medically necessary for him to attend (to help better prepare him for kindergarten) to GVECC. (its on the dividing line of Grain Valley/Oak Grove…The GV bus drives by the daycare multiple times daily).
I have personally tried for over a month to get this resolved. I have discussed w/director of GV transportation, GVECC director, the GV Special Needs director, & the Ass. Superintendant of GV & after being tossed back & forth on who had the “authority to make the decision/exception, I was basically informed at the very end, (in more polite wording)- “that it wasn’t worth opening up that bag of worms for the few weeks of school we have left.” (I had already been fighting to get him transportation for over a month before that was said) Again that is a paraphrase but it was the essence of what was inferred. I did actually transported T myself for over a month & I was perfectly fine doing so, aside from the fact that it was majorly affecting his behavior & stress: his biggest obstacles are change & transitioning, especially from me, & we have ended up dealing with an overly, very stressed out and overwhelmed little boy whose only focus nearly 24/7 was if he was going to preschool, or if he was going to GVECC, & why couldn’t’ he stay with me when I picked him up. He even stopped wanted to go to tumbling- an activity he has AVIDLY loved for over a year now.
My mom rearranged her schedule for an entire week so we see or demonstrate a difference in T’s behavior, actions, & stress levels- of which was proved & shown but in the end the Grain Valley School district was less interested in the needs of a special needs child & more worried about the bottom line. Of which I have sadly found out is not so uncommon for GV; and I am not the only special needs parent needing transportation to and from the same schools. The lack of interest in our SPED kids, the disregard of severe bullying in several of the schools here, and so many other issues that came to light during this, is frankly very disturbing.
In any case his entire team of specialists Dr’s all were in agreement that the stress T was going through did not out weight the benefit of the few weeks of therapy he would be getting, even though needed. He was literally stressing himself sick (getting so stressed his immune system was being compromised-one that is already compromised because of his heart issues)
God has brought us through the past 5 years, not unscathed but still standing strong. We believe he has a plan for us, we may not understand now, but we are willing to trust in him and do what we can to make ends meet.
A dear friend suggested a fundraiser at Centerline Volleyball, but honestly I have no clue how to go about doing that- we have never done a fundraiser for T- we did a GOFUNDME thing before/during his last surgery so that Sean could take time off work, but that cost us about as much as we raised. Although we are infinitely grateful for the support we received from so many.
Currently we are trying to sell/liquidate what we can (which is sadly not a lot) & accept any suggestions anyone may have. Sean’s already filed unemployment but that could take 4 weeks or longer. He has been on the phone/ emails all day & through the night since Monday talking to vendors, reps, colleagues, & doing what he can looking for work, anywhere he can find it.
Love to you all ~Christy
I recently read something that I really took to heart; and feel is an important thing that should definitely be shared and said as often as possible..
I wish you enough…
thank you everyone in advance for your thoughts and prayers
the story of enough is this:
She said, “Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom.”
privacy, but she welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?” “
Recognizing that her days were limited, I took the time to tell her face to face how much she meant to me.
“Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?” I asked.
wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them,” she continued and then turning toward me she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Good-bye..”